Swim upstream; it's a better workout and you'll learn more about life than you thought possible.
The internet has become an idiotic security measure akin to the childproof pill bottle. The kids can open it fine and those who need the medication can't.
If you aren't doing your own thinking, someone else will. Be it friends, family, religion, government or corporations.
Life is the most pointless of games. Even the weakest and most incompetent make it to the end.
Soon cell phones are going to have sensors like altimeters and barometers but for smells. When they pick up the smell of crack, weed, meth they will silently call for an available police cruiser to check the location and the druggies will never figure out how they keep getting busted.
www.scAmazon.com for all your shopping needs.
Schizophrenia is a biological dual core CPU where one core is dedicated to malware...
Pregnant women at funerals are gloom in the womb.
Regina labour market statistics show all time lows for estheticians & hairstylists! As for Q1 2019 there are only 349 qualified estheticians per customer and only 642 hairstylists per client!
I'm going to change my last name to Boch. Then have a kid and name him Al middle name Brian.
I've been programmed to want to contribute to society but Why? It's comprised bullies, cheaters, liars, thieves and idiots...I'll contribute on a case by case basis thank you.
Funny how your kids will take your money and your things...but not your wisdom.
If hoarders were clean and organized they would be called Warehousers or Archivers and have a positive connotation. The fact they are seen as negatives isn't because of the stuff, it's because they are gross pigs.
Someone taking your picture used to denote importance. Selfies are the hyperinflation and devaluation of that presentable currency.
seXbox...because you always get fucked.
Against the Ukraine there is no victory...dem mofo's is cray!
Eyebrows are how women signal they are crazy...and they're all crazy.
Emotions are like farts, best when you get them out and watch the horror on peoples faces...
Amazon Prime, more like Amazon never on time. You pay for next day but a week later all it says it "On it's way."
Proud citizen of the Divided States of America! DSA! DSA! DSA!
We're all rats in a maze, but the walls and reality of it all go unnoticed as they are constructed of lies.
@SaskPower...more like #SometimesPower. If we paid our bills like SaskPower provides service how do you think things would be? Oh right we'd still have no power...
The #1 export of British Columbia is Crust Punks. #2 is weed delivered by Crust Punks.
Yeah we need better gun laws because those anti-MURDER laws work SOOO well...
Lack of social skills? More like inappropriate social thrills!
"British Worry Russian Submarines Could Cut Internet To NATO" - These idiots can't make up their minds. One second "oh no the Russians are b0xr0x1n9 all our 1337 govt officials!" then the next they are scared Russia might cut the lines so they can't hack them anymore.
"Life is about the journey, not the destination." -A bunch of lost directionless idiots.
My bowel has been doing drop sets since birth. It should be like Arnold Schwarzenegger fighting constipation to the death but instead it's like Woody Allen spectating a car accident.
Natural disasters are just adventures that come to you...
Due to unforeseen twerkCUMstances I can not wear pants today...
Kim Jong Un, Vladimir Putin and Donald Trump and still no WW3...USELESS!
Money has scared & killed more people than Jason, Michael & Freddy put together.
I used a transgender bathroom but came out the same...talk about false advertising!
The father the son and the holy toast. yah yah...
How do we know the flush proximity sensors on public urinals aren't dick cams?
If houses were built with the same crazy measuring clothing manufacturers use we'd all be living in abstract art.
Vegetarians are murderers - Plants Lives Matter!
Artistic expression is both a luxury and the sole purpose to exist.
Music is the language you learn when you realize no one else speaks your language.
"Love is blind" -some ugly person
My special move is called the "Douche Caboose."
A bad joke a day keeps the social life at bay.
Mooooove BREACH! Get out da way! -CLEAR LEFT! -CLEAR RIGHT!
I don't always shit my pants but when I do I make sure it's on your new micro suede recliner.
Oi Lee (Bruce Lee's greasy Jewish cousin)
Weather in Saskatchewan is like an appetizer plate of stale nachos, dried out chicken wings and potato skins with no dipping sauces.
In Canada the Four Seasons is just the band that backed up Frankie Valli. Canada only has one season and its name is Shit.
I've been petitioning the X games to include extreme hermitting for years but they say no one will show up to compete.
Summer here is like Danny DeVito...short and dirty.
Hey Linkedin I'd like to invite you to suck my dinkedin...
Just because I don't skip leg day doesn't mean we're on speaking terms...
You know what else has nine lives? My toilet.
Finding good people on Plenty Of Fish is like garbage picking for fresh caviar.
Proof Canada sucks is even a douche bag like Justin Bieber moved away first chance he got...
Fuck Buckets the convenient bucket of replacement fucks for when you've lost all your fucks because you've been driven nuts!
Most vocalist auditions consist of those lesser known notes like Q, Z, and Y GOD WHY!?
Political tides? More like sewer backup.
Swimming pools...it's not just the chlorine making your eyes burn...
What would Steve Jobs name be if he was unemployed? Guess it's a good thing his name wasn't Steve Alive.
Who needs communism when we have big box stores!
It'll turn your pubic hair gray.
Sadly not even The Force could save Han Solo from becoming Han Saglow...
It's cold out! Wish I had a witches tit in my mouth to compare.
Two Girls One Grey Cup
Penetrate to pollinate - That's what BEE said!
If God is as powerful as you say he is why does he need door to door salesmen?
If slapping stupid people became socially common, being slapped would become a compliment...
It puts the Penis in the Assket.
404 fucks given not found!
I am the creator of the musical genre Lil'Bub Step!
Green Eggs and Nicholas Cage
Adorbs for fast relief of hemorrhoids or itchy ass from hours of diarrhea!
Welcome to Regina, the land of car lots & bars. #1 in violent crime & sexual diseases!...don't forget the racism!
Regina isn't a city, it's a mentally deficient child that thinks it's a grown up because it graduated to pull up diapers
Penis Pump the Musical!
Jeez you make someone a hit song and they get all Cher crossed with Rosanne Bar on your ass!
Sex Sells and Batman Smells
In the West Asian women exploit themselves! I mean McDonalds and Tim Hortons exploits them...
Now if you will excuse me I have to go star in the new M. Night Shyamalan film "The Nappening."
...polite, kind, with a hint of bodies under the floorboards?
On a scale of one to ten I'm a Z.
Dick-n-Vag the musical duo that sounds like crying children and shame.
Having James Hetfield compliment you on your song writing is like having Donald Trump compliment your hair...
The Walking Fred (Durst) - Where the red is ball caps not blood and there are no brains involved...
"Any society that allows one person power over another will see abuse." - J.T.
Epileptic super heroes get their super powers from cesium exposure!
Bitch has an iFace!
Regina City Police, killing peoples pets for fun and abusing women on behalf of stalkers.
Living in Regina is like living in a hobo's unwashed anus...
Everytime I shit a Black Metal band writes a song about how God is dead.
I want to start a band called "Satanic Sandwich", who's in!?
I call this the "Maury Povich"
8bit anger, it's more granulated...
While everyone is trying to stop terrorism no one seems to realize the terrorists are now our government, bosses & landlords.
Arbitrary number is arbitrary!
If you don't know who I am it's your loss. If you know who I am it's your loss.
"Life is cosmic equations not emotional consideration." - J.T.
"Men who wield armies only respond to armies." - J.T.
Iron Pipe, that's my porn name...it's hard to wear it out. (triple ZING!)
IT at its angriest!
If I don't put both my feet up your ass one will be cold!
At what point do you stop caring and start flinging poop?
Darth Vapor: "Luke I am your water!"
Television...stupider think you than...
I'd rather a hobo shit in my mouth than kiss Amy Winehouse!
Awesome stuff! Get your ice cold awesome stuff!
They sucked so bad Stephan Hawking was using them for black hole behavioral modeling!
Where music has no hope and hope has no theme song...
...reviews that bruise
I like to poop it poop it.
New and Disapproved!
New and Unimproved!
Linux is dead! Long Live Fortran! Wait...what!?
Ah man I had to take a wicked 'Metallica'!
"Celebrating 10 years of bad vibes, dirty looks and playing to empty halls." - www.shadowinthemirror.com
The way to find what the mainstream will do tommorrow is to associate with the lunatic fringe today. -JLG
I didn't realise those spaces were for the emotionally handicapped. -JLG
When I want to do something mindless to relax, I install windows 95. -JLG
Where the struggles of life and self are voiced...also poop jokes...
You're soaking in it, and what it is is weird and scary.
Tired is the new tired.